Happy New Year to Me!

I love October.

I'm an October baby, and I haven't looked forward to a birthday since I turned 18. The last time I remember feeling even remotely excited about a birthday was when I turned 8. I kid you not. I have a long memory.

So I turned the decade. Officially one-third through my life (or middle-aged, depending on which life expectancy chart you're looking at) and I made some new year resolutions.

A few weeks in and I am realising that a curious thing has happened to my resolve. It's gone all weird. The time when I would say - righty-ho, going to do a thing and it's done are gone. No questions, want something, get it. I guess there really is something in the "arrogance of youth". I'm no old hen but I am more cautious, less confident in my abilities, but then, I've also become more aware of what I really am good at (and procrastinating doesn't count, I've known that for years).  Now I'm a little more realistic. Will isn't always everything. A darn good amount of luck and the right people in your life have a lot to do with it.

So today being the last day of October, and what I like to think of as my own special time, I decided it's time to recapture some of the magic I had at 15. The kind that said, sod it, I'll do it my way and be darn good at it. So I woke up, ran around after the kids, did what I have to do and opened a small door for myself. I forgot how good being independent makes me feel.

It made me think about the last 20 years - I'm getting better at dealing with who I am, but it made me miss the simplicity of my Octobers as a child.

When I'm in the Southern Hemisphere and it's 34 degrees outside I love nothing better than long hot lazy afternoons, grasshoppers singing outside and the sound of sprinklers on the lawn.

When I'm in the Northern Hemisphere, much as I hate the cold the sight of autumn leaves falling, wind sighing through the trees, lit fires and apples make being away from the heat just that little bit more bearable.
Plus I get to celebrate Halloween.

It's been a gradual build-up my celebrating Samhain. I love that I live in the birthplace of the festival, and the part of me that read stories of druids, banshees, were-wolves and Bram Stoker's Dracula is round eyed with excitement at being near it all. This year my son got to enjoy Halloween fully as he's finally completely aware of the history and significance of the dressing up and better - he got to enjoy it with friends, something we've been working on for a long time.

I don't think I could have asked for a better start to my new year.